Talking to Your Baby
Honoring Their Autonomy Through Respectful Communication
From the moment they are born, babies are whole human beings, capable of processing communication and experiencing the world in profound ways. The RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) philosophy, founded by Magda Gerber, emphasizes the importance of treating babies with respect—including speaking to them before interacting with their bodies. Whether it's picking them up, changing their diaper, or putting on their clothes, narrating our actions gives babies a sense of security, fosters trust, and builds a foundation for healthy communication as they grow.
Why Speak to Your Baby Before Acting?
Respecting Autonomy from the Start
In many cultures, adults assume babies are passive participants in caregiving routines. However, babies are deeply aware of their surroundings and their bodies. When we pause to tell them what we are about to do—before lifting them, wiping their nose, or putting on their shoes—we acknowledge their personhood. This small but profound act teaches them that their body belongs to them and that interactions should be consensual and predictable.
Building Trust and Security
Imagine if someone suddenly picked you up without warning or touched your face without explanation—it would be startling! Babies, too, experience the world through their senses, and abrupt movements can be unsettling. By saying, “I’m going to pick you up now” before lifting them, or “I’m going to wipe your hands with this warm cloth” before cleaning them, we allow them to prepare for the action, creating a sense of trust and safety.
Encouraging Language Development
Speaking to your baby throughout the day helps develop their understanding of language. Even though they may not yet respond with words, they are absorbing and processing everything. Using clear, respectful language—rather than baby talk—helps them recognize patterns in communication and builds the foundation for future conversations.
How to Integrate Respectful Communication into Daily Care
Narrate Your Actions
Before picking up your baby, say: “I’m going to pick you up now.”
Before changing a diaper: “I’m going to lift your legs to change your diaper.”
Before bath time: “I’m going to pour some warm water on your tummy.”
Pause for a Response
Give your baby a moment to process your words. Even if they cannot verbally respond, they might make eye contact, smile, or show subtle body movements that signal their understanding.
Use a Gentle and Predictable Tone
Speak in a calm, reassuring voice to let your baby know what to expect. Babies thrive on predictability, and your voice provides comfort and consistency.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
If your baby resists an action, validate their emotions: “I hear that you don’t like having your diaper changed. I’ll be as gentle as I can.” This helps them feel understood, even if the action must still take place.
Talking to your baby with respect is a simple yet powerful practice that fosters trust, autonomy, and emotional security. By treating them as active participants in their care, we lay the foundation for a lifetime of healthy communication and mutual respect. As Magda Gerber taught, babies deserve to be seen, heard, and spoken to with kindness—because they are whole people, right from the start.